Lack of Contentment or Abundance of Purpose?

Something that I have been struggling with lately is whether or not I am, overall, lacking in contentment or just desiring to do something BIG in life because of the purpose that Christ has given to life? It is a difficult situation/existence to think about, especially since they can seem to be very similar in nature, until you reach the underlying issues. Let me provide some examples as to the situations that have caused this thought process....

The first, and obvious, observation: Weddings. Many of my friends are in very fulfilling and beautiful relationships. They range from dating to marriage and, from what I have observed, they are very God honoring. Am I happy/content with where my life stands right now? Well, it's really nice to not feel pressure to look a certain way for a significant other at the weddings, and to have the freedom of dancing like a maniac with a group of girls. Seriously! At the same time, during the slow dance songs, do I sit at the table and desire to dance with my husband to those types of songs? Well, duh! It is so obvious that the couples are in love by the way they dance together, hold each other, and look into each others eyes. Of course I long to share in a relationship like that with someone!

The second observation: Job(s). I am very thankful to have a job, even though there have been some times when I want to cry after a day of training. On one hand, I am very content to stay in this location, build up work credibility (considering I have not had much more than a summer job since high school), and decrease the amount of money I owe the government. On the other hand, I see my friends finding jobs in their desired fields (or at least related to their desired fields) while I am living at home, working as a restaurant hostess, and wondering how on earth I'll find the means and resources to achieve the dreams and goals that are set out before me.

Third observation: Restlessness. While this may seem like an automatic sign of discontent, could it not also be a sign of desiring to do something MORE in life than what I am currently doing from day-to-day? There is an overall desire to do something that is out of the ordinary, to be a part of something so much bigger than the day-to-day activities of running a few errands, going to work, and trying to make sure my grandma is doing alright. God has seemed to bless me the most, over the months since graduation and even before the summer, in ministry opportunities. I have been involved in ministries for almost as long as I can remember, even if it was just singing in the children's Christmas choir as a chubby-cheeked toddler. Over the past five months, I have been throwing myself into ministries, which has been amazing! Now that I have found a job, which is a blessing in it's own way, I feel trapped and boxed-in. It is like I do not feel the freedom to just pick up and go on ministry events. Weekend youth group activities? That doesn't work so well in the restaurant business, no matter how great an opportunity it is for the youth, and no matter how much I may want to go as well. Am I thankful for a job to help pay bills? Certainly. Do I also feel as though ministry sacrifices are already having to be made for the sake of this job? Absolutely.

Where is the line to be drawn between not being content and knowing that there is something more in life? Is there a clear line? Obviously, if there is something more in life, shouldn't we be in pursuit of attaining that "more" in the distance? If someone is pursuing that "more" they see, does it automatically equate to discontentment? I would surely hope not! If these are equal to each other, how could Paul, Timothy and the author of Hebrews tell us to be content, and that they have reached contentment in every situation? Certainly they did not give up on the calling the God of the Universe had placed over their lives! Where is the balance between contentment in the present, and the pursuit of God's call? Fisherman gave up all they had known - everything - in order to follow Jesus during His earthly ministry. At the same time, they held on to what they needed, what God had ordained they would need, in order to accomplish the plans that He had individually made for them. Even with trying to find the balance between contentment and pursuing my calling, I must ask similar questions. What am I willing to give up - even if it is treasured, considered valuable, or even viewed as a necessity? What am I willing to keep, even if it is like a "thorn in my side" (2 Cor. 12:6-8)?