Applause Rising Talent Showcase

Last time I posted, it was shortly before going to PA for one of my best friends weddings. What an amazing weekend! Not only did Nikki look gorgeous, but Jesse actually smiled from ear to ear and had a bit of a "wow, she's mine" glow....it was awesome. You see, I don't know Jesse nearly as well as I know Nikki (he went to a different college), and he doesn't usually show emotion. So, seeing him smile like that was totally amazing!

After the wedding, the remaining C'ville crew had a "one month reunion" complete with a pool, pool table, awesomeness snacks and drinks, and MST3K.... Ah yes, most of the "freak show" was back together and partying like the good ol' days...with a few added twists. I miss everyone again though. Saying goodbye at graduation was difficult enough, even with knowing that most of us would be together again at Nikki's wedding. But this time? Who knows when all of us will be together again. We have talked about doing another mini reunion sometime in the fall though....maybe even in Colorado? With skiing and snowboarding? Hmm....

Now I stand on the edge of another adventure, and this time it's really intimidating. Tuesday morning I will fly to the Applause Rising Talent Showcase where I will compete in three different categories for a possible career in acting/entertainment. Monologue? Memorized and within time limit. T.V. Commercial? Uhhh, still need to work on that a lot more. Cold Read? Well, the whole format of that is different, and I won't receive the script until shortly before going on stage anyway. Prep for that is more like reminding myself to breathe.

Honestly, I'm really nervous about going. I put on the happy face and come across really excited about the whole adventure, but inside, it's a constant state of screaming and wondering "why am I doing this?" The best answer I can come up with is that, if I didn't go, there would be a constant question of "what if" for the rest of my life. This opportunity was practically dropped in my lap, and I can't just ignore it... each day just seems a little more nerve-wracking than the previous one, and I feel a little more insecure than the previous day, too.

Guaranteed, no matter what happens at the showcase next week, I will end up crying at least once. Only time will tell if those tears are tears of joy, stress, disappointment, or exhaustion. Why must the inferiority complex rear it's ugly head right now?